October 27, 2003 - 11:16 pm
The Radio Music Awards: Where did they come from and when will they get entertaining?
Because I'm an award show whore I can't seem to change the channel but the seemingly unfounded recognitions and less-than-satisfactory live performances are doing nothing for this already lack-luster evening.
Jewel? I love you, darling. I really do. But, honestly. I have better pitch. Maybe you were just nervous. I don't know. Maybe the thought of performing on the same stage as such greats as Avril Lavigne and Michelle Branch really ate away at your brain. I'm sorry to tool on you. Really, I am. But first you came out wearing that Christmas tree skirt as a top and then you had that awful performance and there's only so much even the most diehard fan can tolerate.
And lastly, why don't I know who Tom Petty is, why did he just get the RMA Legend Award and why does he have the same haircut as my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Jaworski?
While cleaning out a dresser in my old bedroom, I found my little shiny black thong with a zipper down the front. Which is nice. Because I thought I lost it.
I also found my old Vade-Mecum. Hi. I used to be able to do this. Quite well, at that. And now I do...well, nothing! God, that's so hot. Also, just so you know, one of the notes at the top says "TIES have become delinquent!" Ha! Oh, I miss Jan...
Ta da
