August 22, 2003 - 6:40 pm
Where has all the love gone? I ask you, Sleep, where has all the love gone?! If we could just, you know, communicate - understand each other's wants and needs - then maybe, maybe I wouldn't need to prolong this cheap and tawdry affair I'm having with Nyquil.
Oh Nyquil. Sweet, somniferous, nectar of Hypnos. I take advantage of you. I use you. I swallow you whole yet, unfailingly, you're there for me. Each and every night that cold and unwilling Sleep turns his back on me you, dear Nyquil, are there to scoop me up in your arms and rock me to sleep like a babe in his Mother's arms. You please me in ways that Sleep no longer can. Despite all this, I wish I didn't need you. I want you. Really, I do. I don't want you to get me wrong. But, let's be honest. If I didn't need you, you wouldn't be here. I wouldn't keep you stocked in my bathroom. I wouldn't leave two of you on the night stand every night "just in case". I know it must pain you to hear me speak of our relationship like this, but I've tried to stay honest with you. It's Sleep I love most. It's Sleep that I will always look back to, hoping that he is looking back at me with star-filled eyes.
Damn you, Sleep! Damn you for not being there for me! For making me seek out "other means"! What did I ever do to you? Sure! Every once in a while you would come a' knocking and I would send you off. You'd make my head heavy and my eyes burn, but I'd push you away still. You have to understand, though! Sometimes I just need to get some more work done! Or sometimes I don't feel ready when you're ready! And don't even bring up those mornings when I would kick you out of bed prematurely! Trust me, buddy, I didn't want our embrace to end any more than you did! Duty calls, though! School, work, other engagements! I never did anything to intentionally hurt you! Never! And this is the treatment I get in return?! Well, fuck you! Fuck you for making me suffer! For making me feel pain and anguish that I, of all people, most certainly do not deserve! You disgust me to no end. I have nothing left to say to you. If you ever decide to change - to make room for me in your life - you know where to find me.
Ta da
